Why I Hate Cars

The simple answer is because they hate me. All parts of the car hate me (except the seat, we generally get along) but for the sake of time let’s look at the tires.

Back in November it became apparent we needed new front tires. So we went to the mechanic. We found out that the absolute least expensive (yes we called around, yes we tried that super cheap place where you got the awesome deal) tires we could get were still in the $200 a pop range because our car has low profile tires. They were “performance” tires which means they were great in water but crap in snow. They were the ones closest to what we could not afford so we had to go with them.

In December the tire pressure light came on. We took it to the garage where we got the tires and they said the valve stem was shot and put on a new one. The light stayed on because we needed the a special stem with the sensor. So we had to take it to the dealer and have that stem put in.

In late March the tire pressure light came on again. We took it in again, it was the stem again, we had to get the fancy sensor again.

That night the light came on again so we took it back. Turns out the brain trust at the garage had just under inflated it. I should mention that since we recently moved all these trips to the garage and to the dealer involve about a half hour of travel each way.

Today I was headed out of town. I was going to Sackville NB to grab supper with my good friend Andrew Benson and then to see my good friend Jonny Smith preform the absolutely mind-blowing Sr Recital that is the culmination of years and years of hard work. It he were going to stand on stage and fart I would go see him because I love him but he is a phenomenal musician who will no doubt have to go around after the recital and help people pick up their jaws. Did I mention I love him? Did I mention this is his one and only Sr. recital? Did I mention he’s awesome? Did I mention how excited I was to go? Ok, just wanted to make sure. Now we can keep going.

So just as I was leaving town (Hammond’s Plains to be specific) I heard and thunk, the car started to feel funny, I looked down and my old friend the check pressure light was on. This is nothing new. Traffic was pretty think so I drove a bit further (maybe 2k), the car really did feel funny though so I drove into the next parking lot. The tire was sitting on the rim.

I proceeded (in the pouring rain no less) to dig out the jack and the spare and and to get down on the wet pavement and see what I could do. I’m not mechanic but I’ve changed a tire before. It took me quite some time to sort out the jack and get the new fangeled tire iron off. The hub cap was another issue. It came off but it will never be the same. Then I proceeded to jack up the car. Just as the tire was getting off the ground the jack folded like Kenny Rogers does when he knows not to hold them. Crap.

So now I had to call roadside assistance. I sat in my car and snuggled with my own rage for warmth. The roadside guys came and got the spare on. I called my friend Denn (good guy) for a recommendation on a garage in the area. I had been ahead of schedule, there was still hope.

I headed into Civic Pride Auto (good guys) and the fella there took a look at the tire and his diagnosis was… wait for it… the valve stem. To be specific the valve stem had been improperly installed and may have had some threads stripped so…

I headed over to Dartmouth to the dealer (not as good guys but you can sort of work with them if you are willing to be a jerk) and they took a look at it. Surprise, surprise. They deemed that the issue was the tire itself and claimed it had lost it’s seal (or some such thing) around the tire in 3 places. I’m guessing that happened when the stem failed catastrophically and the rim came crashing down onto the tire and chewed it all up but like I said, I’m no mechanic. I could have argued with them but why do it there when I had a perfectly good brick wall at home to bang my head against.

These guys are not my original dealer. I drive a Saturn so my dealer doesn’t exist. They are however where I am supposed to take my car for warrantee work. They don’t have tires that fit my car. Hmmmmm.

So I headed out to Mighty Auto (good guys) in Cole Harbour to the place we bought the current tires from. Dinner with Andrew was never going to happen but with a little luck I might still make the recital.

They didn’t have anything in stock. The dream was now dead! Can’t say how much this disappointed me…

They also said that they might not be able to get the exact same model in for me. Which means I may have to buy two new tires because it’s not good for them to be mismatched on the same axle. We will see on monday but at this point I am bracing myself for the likelihood that I am going to have to replace two tires that are only 5 months old. Two tires of the sort where even the cheap ones are expensive.

I hate cars. 13 more months before I am free of the money sucking, dream crushing, frustration generating, festering, hunk of pain and anguish that is my car. I hate cars, but hey – they started it.

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